"If you ever tell anyone I like Duh Progressive my political career will be over."

- President Obama

White House Taps Musician Stevie Wonder as New Border Security Czar

(WASHINGTON) —As the nation’s southern borders are being overrun by mostly underage migrants from Central America like never before, provoking growing outcries from the public and Republicans and Democrat political alike to “secure the borders”, the White House hoped to lay to rest all such hostilit....

Read more: White House Taps Musician Stevie Wonder as New Border Security Czar

Obama on 4th of July: ‘‘Why do we keep celebrating my birthday a month early?’’

(WASHINGTON) —Yes, President Obama has done it again. After last year’s Fourth of July erupted in controversy when an “open mic” clipped to President Obama’s shirt caught him muttering, “I can’t believe I have to give up a good day of golf for this crap!” and other disparaging....

Read more: Obama on 4th of July: ‘‘Why do we keep celebrating my birthday a month early?’’

Non-Gay Americans Celebrate End of ‘‘Go Tell Somebody Who Gives a Sh** Month’’

(BOTON ROUGE, LA)   —Couples, lovers, husbands and husbands and wives and wives gazed proudly at the rainbow flags waving and the tickertape fluttering about during Baton Rouge’s gay pride parade Saturday afternoon, the last Saturday of the....

Read more: Non-Gay Americans Celebrate End of ‘‘Go Tell Somebody Who Gives a Sh** Month’’

Senior Republicans Warn Impeaching Obama Would Violate ‘‘Americans With Disabilities Act’’

(WASHINGTON) —Military vets left to die under V.A. care, giving up key Taliban leaders for a U.S. soldier who deserted his unit, opening the borders to thousands of unskilled indigents from Central America, allowing mass-murdering Islamists to overrun.... 

Read more: Senior Republicans Warn Impeaching Obama Would Violate ‘‘Americans With Disabilities Act’’

Obama Warns Rampaging Islamists: ‘‘Stop…or I’ll say ‘stop’ again!’’

(NEW YORK) —Hell hath no fury like a Barack Obama scorned! And as Islamic militants continue overrunning more territory in Iraq, they got a taste of that “hell” President Obama is prepared to unleash Tuesday if the fiercely–armed “Islamic State of Iraq and Syria” (ISIS) group does not....

Read more: Obama Warns Rampaging Islamists: ‘‘Stop…or I’ll say ‘stop’ again!’’

Bergdahl Says No One Ever Told Him ‘‘War Would be Dangerous’’

(GERMANY) —It was only a matter of time: an apparent insider stationed where confirmed U.S. Army deserter and former Taliban captive Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl is being held under tight guard has leaking to the press what Bergdahl is now telling military investigators....

Read more: Bergdahl Says No One Ever Told Him ‘‘War Would be Dangerous’’

 
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Police Blotter

Howell, NJ -- Howell, NJ —Police arrived to the 300 block of Roosevelt Street after a 19-year-old man complaining he did not have the money to afford his fourth neck tattoo of the year, however did have the funds to remain dressed like a crack-addicted circus clown. Police escorted the New Jersey man to the nearest tattoo parlor and forced the tattoo artist on duty to give the man a new neck tattoo. Police then tasered the artist to death.

 

 

 

Horoscope

Aquarius
January 20 -
February 18
our desire to legally obtain a drivers' license will be quickly squashed upon the re-realization that you are Hispanic... (Eric Holder forgives thee)

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