Clara de http://www.revenus-comple
mentaires.info BREAKING: Weiner's Own Penis Announces Bid for Congress!
by June Schlitz, DP Penile Relations Liaison
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
(NEW YORK) —Less than a week after admitting to sending lewd photos of his genitals to various women on line, the unofficial "star" of the Anthony Weiner saga announced Monday it plans on running for the disgraced Representative's own office.
In a candid CNN interview Monday night, Congressman Anthony Weiner's penis declared it is challenging its very owner next year for New York's Ninth District, setting the stage for one of the strangest election year dramas in U.S. history. Weiner's penis told CNN's Piers Morgan it feels
"abused, misled, and disgusted like everyone else" by the sexting scandal that has tarnished the outspoken Democrat and captivated the nation.
"The actions of my owner have been a disgrace to his office and the people of his district," said Weiner's phallus on Piers Morgan Tonight. "I'm shocked that I was treated this way by Tony. We've known each other for 46 years...I am deeply hurt and humiliated that I was photographed and exploited like this after such a long and deep relationship."
As for Rep. Weiner himself, the liberal firebrand has been in a "psychological treatment center" since Saturday, following the release of new suggestive photographs of the congressman and an 
investigation of his text messages to a 17-year-old girl in Delaware.
The weenie of Weiner also insisted his political aspirations have existed long before the sexting scandal, and that it is not taking advantage of the congressman's current "leave of absence" from the House of Representatives.
When asked by Piers Morgan about its motivations for running for office, Weiner's penis grew heated. "This is not a revenge thing. Absolutely not! And I reject those assertions," the large member told Morgan.
"The time is right for new leadership," continued the external sex organ. "The people of the ninth district deserve better. I am a strong candidate for 2012. I know how Washington works and what the people of my district desire."
Added Rep. Weiner's manhood, "Congressman Weiner has dropped the ball in Washington. I have firm plans for tackling the national debt, the deficit, and unemployment...If elected, I will keep my eye focused like a laser on the economy."
As bizarre as the idea of an actual living, functioning male penis running for Congress may be, many New Yorkers are not dismissing the possibility.
A Gallup poll taken after the Piers—Weiner's weiner interview showed residents of Weiner's district favoring the congressman by only six percent over his own penis —enough to make it a statistical dead heat when factoring margins of error (52% vs. 46%, +/- 3 points).
Democrat political strategist Paul Begala addressed the Weiner vs. weiner spectacle on Anderson Cooper 360 after the Morgan interview. "Don't take the strength of a penis candidacy lightly," Begala 
warned. "The penis' message is penetrating a broad range of voters. This is one campaign you should not count as flaccid...I personally like Weiner's penis on the issues; it can go soft on social issues but is more rigid —almost Clintonian— on fiscal issues, a stance the other parts of Weiner have been unable to curve towards."
But Republicans are also warning voters not to be too quick to believe the stiff talk coming from the penis.
"Democrats and swing voters are duped time and time again by these hard-talking 'moderate' Democrats. It's time to stop being taken in by these sweet-talking blowhards who end of being just another dick in Washington," said strategist and former campaign advisor Mary Matalin on Fox News Monday night. "I don't care if this penis has been scorned. Being mishandled by his owner doesn't suddenly make this massive hunk of expanding blood vessels an expert on the issues!"
Matalin compared the penis' entry into the 2012 field to that of the short-lived and speculative entry of Donald Trump in the presidential bid. Matalin also questioned whether the timing of the penis' announcement was not a sign of bigger aspirations.
"The ego of a creature that would spring up during a tragedy like this to push forth his own career can't be underestimated," added Matalin. "I've seen these media hounds before. They'll spew out anything to advance themselves. Next thing you'll know he'll be announcing a run for president. And given who we have in the White House now, voting in an actual dick would be rather redundant.”
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