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mentaires.info Tyrannosaurus Rex Devours Tom Brady in Last Minutes of Super Bowl XLVI
by Michael Madshack, DP Assistant Editor
Monday, February 6th, 2012,
(INDIANAPOLIS) —A shocking upset was witnessed by almost a billion people Sunday night as a Tyrannosaurus Rex, once believed long extinct, ran out on to the field of Indianapolis’ Lucas Oil Stadium and devoured New England quarterback Tom Brady, allowing the New York Giants to defeat the Patriots by a score of 21—17.
The ancient dinosaur’s entry was totally unforeseen, leaving Giants fans cheering, Patriots fans shocked and dismayed, and Tom Brady's family hysterical, as the giant 65-million year old lizard picked up the star quarterback and proceeded to eat him legs-first. Brady was 34 years old. He leaves behind a really hot wife and two children.
Brady’s fellow team members, for their part, ran off the field in terror as Brady screamed for help, before being crushed and swallowed by the beast, leaving blood and tissue scattered on the field before the T-Rex ran back out of the stadium and vanished without comment.
"This is total bullshit!" said Patriot's head coach, Bill Belichick after the game Sunday. "I've been in this sport for decades and have not seen any dirty tricks like the one we saw from (New York) tonight! I am filing a formal complaint with the NFL about this incident! We all knew New York would play dirty, but this tops it! 
This dinosaur's entry in the last two minutes of the game was totally uncalled for."
The Patriots had been threatening the Giants’ 4-point lead throughout the fourth quarter Sunday night. However, said Giants head coach Tom Coughlin, the shocking entry of the Jurassic Era’s most feared reptile was not a planned play on the part of the New York Giant’s defense; nor did he, Eli Manning, or any other of the Giants’ staff have any prior knowledge of the T-Rex’s presence, let along its participation. Despite the Giants’ fervent denials, Sunday night’s incident —not to mention Tom Brady’s gruesome death— will be a source of lasting contention between the two teams.
“This is so unfair!” cried Tom Brady’s wife/widow, super model Gisele Bundchen, as she was led from the stadium in hysterics Sunday. “My husband cannot throw the (expletive) ball and fend off giant flesh-eating dinosaurs at the same time!”
Indianapolis police and NFL officials have made no formal comment about Sunday night’s unforeseen T-Rex attack on whom many considered “America’s quarterback,” however say that the fourth quarter entry of the ferocious lizard is “under review.”
“We have no formal opinion about the eating of Tom Brady on the part of this supposedly extinct ‘thing,’” said Indianapolis Police Chief Paul R. Ciesielski at an emergency press conference Monday morning. “We are, however, reviewing this incident and seeing if and where this may fall under the state of Indiana’s criminal code."
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a senior NFL official said Monday the league may for the first time declare Sunday’s Super Bowl XLVI “winless” if it cannot find statutes pertaining to dinosaurs interfering in games.
Tyrannosaurus Rex Eating Star Quarterbacks: Is Global Warming to Blame?
It didn’t take long for people’s sickened gasps to stop and the finger-pointing to begin after Brady was consumed Sunday night. Aside from the usual accusations between rivaling team members, others outside the NFL cast their speculations on why one of the nation’s best quarterbacks was stunningly eaten by an animal thought to have died off 65 million years ago (poor Photoshop skills aside).
Former Vice President Al Gore wrote on Twitter and his web site that Tom Brady’s horrifying death Sunday night was “proof positive” that the “world has a fever the likes of which it has never had before.”
“How else can you explain such a thing?” quested Gore on his web site, AlGore.com. “If there was ever any doubt of the ravenous affects global climate change is having on Earth, last night’s awful tragedy puts those doubts to shame.”
As for the Tyrannosaurus Rex itself, the 20-foot, 4000-pound carnivore refused to answer reporters’ questions as it left the stadium Sunday night, leaving the issue of whether its return was due to global 
warming still up for debate. The T-Rex did take time to sign some autographs for a few Giants fans, then left promptly in a 2011 Cadillac Escalade, ironically unconcerned over its environmental impact. And as the world proceeds in mourning the death of former Super Bowl champion and Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady, New England’s head coach said Monday he will take time to weep later but that now “is a time for action, nothing less.”
“Besides the loss of a great human being and outstanding athlete, I hope people will finally realize how dangerous CO-2 emissions are,” said the Patriot’s Belichick to reporters Monday. “I have no doubt the (Giants’) management was behind Sunday’s attack, but the fact remains: this creature could not have come on to the field if it wasn’t for increased climate change… Look, I know I’m no meteorologist, but I think the facts speak for themselves here.”
“People must know. People have to learn,” continued Belichick Monday. “If we had converted from incandescent light bulbs years ago, then Tom Brady would still be with us today.”
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