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Fifth Person Reportedly Dies While Waiting to Sign Up for Obamacare



by Michael Madshack, DP Assistant Editor,

Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013,

(NASHVILLE, TN) —The notoriously long, hampered, arduous wait to sign up for Obamacare has reportedly taken the life of a Tennessee man, now allegedly among a growing list of people who have died while trying to enroll in the federal government healthcare program.

     Nashville authorities say Walter E. Polte, 60, had been sitting in front of his computer, logged on to the government’s glitch–plagued healthcare signup website, www.HealthCare.gov, since October 5th, when he finally let out a loud sigh, then a groan, and collapsed unconscious on his computer’s keyboard. Paramedics arrived shortly after Polte’s collapse but were unable to revive him. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

   According to Polte’s wife, Eleanor, the former used car salesman was laid-off last year, consequently losing his healthcare coverage.   Due to heart disease and a history of anxiety, Polte chose to sign up for Obamacare. “But he just kept sitting there, entering and re-entering his information over and over and over, just the basics, day after day…,” said a distraught Eleanor Polte to reporters Sunday. “(Walter) just kept getting that ‘404 ERROR’ page, or else the ‘loading time-out’ screen, but he kept on trying to sign up. I brought him meals and water and asked him to give it a rest and try later, but he wouldn’t. That was Walt –always persistent. Now he’s dead …Dead from Obamacare before he didn’t even enroll in it! No! NO…!”

     If confirmed, Polte’s death will make him the fifth person to have died while waiting to enroll in the Affordable Care Act, so affectionately known as “Obamacare.” Four other deaths due to a stroke, heart attacks, and a suicide have been reported in Florida, Maryland, Texas, and Missouri, prompting longtime critics of Obamacare and the launch of its grueling signup website to suspect that its long-feared “death panels” are in fact the laborious wait it is taking people, particularly older Americans, to enlist in the massive federal program itself.  

    “In effect, trying to sign up for Obamacare kills!” according to Thomas DeLorenzo, Director of Doctors for Patient Care, Monday.   DeLorenzo has been one been one of many of Obamacare’s outspoken critics since its conception, and has warned against its inevitable government–mandated restrictions on life-saving procedures and prescriptions.   Other more prominent opponents of Obamacare have decried its alleged death panels, most notably former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, Rep. Michelle Bachmann and Sen. Ted Cruz. But according to DeLorenzo, Walter Polte’s demise may be the signature of a “death panel” ACA opponents had not expected, yet so feared.

     “Reports are emerging more and more of people dying at their computers or on their phones during this (Obamacare signup) process. We’ve been warning Americans of the death panels Obamacare would bring. But we never expected this,” DeLorenzo `said Monday. “People who are too old or too weak to handle the endless, enraging process this disaster of a website puts them through…? This is the death panel we’ve been warning the country about –you wait so long to sign up for Obamacare that you die before you ever succeed in doing it! This isn’t just sneaky, it’s sadistic, homicidal!”


   Obamacare Signup Deaths Just Tip of the Iceberg

   “Obamacare’s” website and the nightmarish process it has taken the now estimated 30,000 to 40,000 people to enroll in it has become the brunt of jokes for talk show hosts and late night TV comics. Indeed, HealthCare.gov has become the symbol of government incompetency in general. But it is no joke to the (now) widow Eleanor Polte and many others.

     Aside from the Obamacare signup deaths, hundreds of incidents of people suffering heart attacks, aneurisms, strokes, fainting, nervous exhaustion, breakdowns, starvation, and even attempted suicides due to the length and frustration it is taking them to enlist in the government healthcare exchange program system are being reported on a weekly basis.   Hospitals around the nation report receiving an increasing number of patients suffering from the effects of what is becoming known as “Obamacare Signup Syndrome” or “I’d Rather Be On Vacation At the DMV Syndrome.”

   “I was one of the first to warn people of the ‘death panels’ in Obamacare. But I admit: I never knew the death panels would be embedded in the mere signup process,” said former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin to reporters Monday. “Weeding out people by way of keeping them waiting on the computer or phone so long that they die, or get so aggravated that they have to be hospitalized from the ordeal of trying to sign up for (Obamacare)..? This is just sick!   We told people this would be a debacle from start to finish, and now it looks more like a deadly debacle just from the start.”

   Emergency Department Head Nurse Sergio Ortega, of Our Lady of Saint Barry Hospital outside President Obama’s home city of Chicago said Monday that just in the last 24 hours he and his staff have treated over 20 people suffering from the maddening effects trying to sign up for Obamacare has caused; or as Ortega calls it: “I’d Rather Be Ass–Raped With a Tabasco Sauce–Covered Rubber Fist Syndrome”.  

     Said Ortega to Duh Progressive Monday, “It’s not just middle-aged or older folks coming in, it’s younger people too who’ve sat online for days trying to navigate their way through this monstrosity.   They’ve come in here suffering from anxiety, psychosis, dementia, depression, suicidal thoughts, heart attacks… It’s like this Affordable Care sign-up process is filtering out people it finds completely unsuitable for it, just by its very wait to sign up process. It’s insane!”

     The White House has yet to publically respond to the claims that trying to sign up for Obamacare is inadvertently meant to weed out (kill off) all those least qualified for it via its unimaginably onerous sign–up time. However Press Secretary Jay Carney’s office issued a statement Monday offering assurance and comfort to people trying to sign up for the national program. “We have repeatedly admitted that the Health and Human Services website is hampered by glitches and the untold millions of people clamoring to sign on and sign up for the Affordable Care Act’s exchanges and benefits,” stated the Press Secretary’s office. “Our job now is to help as many poorly insured or uninsured Americans as possible obtain stable, affordable, and effective health coverage. And for those with chronic conditions that may make them more costly to our program, we urge them to keep trying and trying to apply for the Affordable Care Act online, or over the phone. Just keep on waiting…and waiting. Rest assured, those who need healthcare coverage the least will benefit from your loyal, steadfast demi…we mean, uh, ‘wait’. Thank you.”  


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