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mentaires.info Last American Without Neck Tattoo Dies at 102
Monday, October 3rd, 2011
(BILLINGS, MN) —Lifelong Montana resident Doris Buttersworth passed away Saturday. Mrs. Buttersworth was 102. She is survived by her two remaining children, six grandchildren, 14 great-grandchildren, and her cat, Mr. Nibbles.
Aside from being a dedicated housewife, amateur baker, and church choir member, Mrs. Buttersworth will mainly be remembered as the last known American without some ridiculous, low-class, trashy-ass tattoo on her goddamn neck.
Born well before the days when permanently painting someone’s hideous nickname, or gang sign, or “baby daddy name” was fashionable in this 235-year-old nation, Doris Buttersworth lived from 1909 to last Saturday humbly raising a family, going church, baking cookies, and volunteering for charities, all the while refusing to get anything from “R.I.P. Pooky,” “Lil’ Boo,” “Vatos Locos 4eva!” to some nauseating barbed wire tattoo anywhere on her body, particularly on her neck.
“Grandma loved everyone, and everyone loved her,” said Buttersworth’s granddaughter, Shelby Grey, 55. “She helped her family and her neighbors. But for the life of me I don’t know why she never got a neck tattoo. 
Grandma was funny like that. …Still, she’ll really be missed.”
Born Doris K. McPherson in the remote town of Glasgow, MN, Doris married her high school sweetheart, Henry Buttersworth (also without some goddamned trashy, crass neck tattoo), in 1928. Mr. Buttersworth took over his father’s general store in 1930, turning it into the regional franchise, “Butter’s Worth and Supplies, Inc.” Mr. Buttersworth died in 1989 after years of suffering a massive infection of cultural deterioration. Mrs. Buttersworth never remarried. Nor did she get a neck tattoo with her husband’s name on it…not even his reported gang name, “B-WorF Munee.”
“Grandpa never got a neck tattoo either,” said the Buttersworth’s 11-year-old great-grandson, Hector, at Doris’ memorial service Monday. Hector, already proudly sporting dual arm sleeves, three neck tattoos, nipple and penile piercings, and a solar-powered vibrating tongue ring (about the norm for most kids his age), said he always found his great-grandparents' lack of interest in neck, face, or genital tattoos perplexing. “Grandma said they, like, never wanted any neck tattoos. I swear, like, old people can be so weird.”
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