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I’ll Be Damned if I’m Gonna Let Prime Minister Cameron Tell Me Multiculturalism Is a Failure!


     Prime Minister Cameron, you have really stepped in it this time. 

     The conservative British PM took the unfortunate opportunity a few days ago to lambast the idea of multiculturalism, proclaiming it has “failed in the UK.”  The man apparently suffers from some xenophobic delusion that not only has intensely compacted immigration left Britain in danger, but the rest of Western Europe is in trouble, too, through endlessly allowing foreigners to move there without ever assimilating to their cultures, sometimes even laws.  Cameron also said the failure to assimilate has left many Third World immigrants, particularly young Muslims, feeling like outcasts, and now more malleable to the voices of radical Islam.  Well, obviously Mr. Cameron is either completely idiotic or actually wants there to be bloodshed in the world.

     Mr. Cameron, take it from me, famous American Indian, Geronimo: letting foreigners move to your land and not absorb your language, laws and customs, but instead just Imagespread their own is the only way to peace and unity.  And after remaining seperate from your nation's culture is no longer enough, and they start asking you to assimilate to them instead, I suggest you do that, too, sir.

    Really, multiculturalism a failure..?  Nonsense!  History glistens with evidence to the contrary.  Just look how well multiculturalism worked for us American Indians: 

     Centuries ago, from the lush beaches of the Caribbean to the blustery coasts of present New England, native North Americans began encountering strange new people.  They arrived on ships, massive ships greater than any we had seen, and rode about on big, strange mammals.  They had pale skin, light hair, wore crosses as jewelry, and possessed amazing technology.  Many were starving and claimed to be in search of something called “freedom.”   

    There were about 15 to 18 million Native Americans then. 

    Five-hundred years later, roughly two million Native Americans remain, and in proportion to the rest of North America, those two million are plagued by rampant poverty, depression and substance abuse.

     Having said this, how can I not be shocked and offended by what British Prime Minister David Cameron said?  The nerve of this guy, huh?!  Need I go into further detail of my peoples’ triumphant experience with multiculturalism, Mr. Cameron?  Okay, then…

    When the humble White Man first appeared on our shores centuries ago, some of those less-tolerant among us said immediately, “Aaaa, strangers …really strange strangers!  Drive them back into the sea at once!”

 Image    But then the more liberal Indians began to do what would become an all too common chore for us: insert reason and open-mindedness. “Hold on,” we said, “it would be wrong to drive someone away just because they look or dress or believe differently.  That would be wasting a potentially invaluable exchange in cultures.  That’d be insensitive, even racist!”  And so we let the white setters stay. 

     In time the settlers asked us more and more to “experiment” with their religions, and the conservative Indians among us again cried, “Wait! Here we were, hundreds of thousands of natives, minding our own business, and then come these palefaces claiming they just wanted a place to stay.  Now they control our shores and river deltas and want us to change how we worship..?!  Who do these people think they are?! We gotta drive them out while we still can!” 

     Ahh, such nonsense –all bigotry and nonsense!  Fortunately for multiculturalism, enough of my intolerant ancestors were already dead of smallpox by then to wage a bloody war to retake their land. 

    Well, before you knew it, thanks to our multiculturalism, these humble white settlers were thriving in their own communities; simple, small, autonomous communities, no smaller than, uhh, everything east of the Mississippi River and south of Newfoundland –a measly 1,867,238 square miles.  More and more of the land my ancestors called their own became renamed by Europeans and the natives who were making way for these humble Europeans were dressing like them, speaking like them, using their currency, working for Imagethem, living by their laws, drinking their alcohol, and worshiping their God(s).   And guess who was still crying sour grapes… Conservative Indians.  Yeah, go figure, I know…  They shouted, “Look, we felt sorry for these people in the beginning.  They were poor and looking for a ‘small’ amount of land in which worship how they wished.  Now this ‘small amount’ of land has become half the continent and if we don’t worship the way they do we’re told to leave our homes –and that’s if we’re lucky!  They must be stopped before it’s too late!”

     Honestly, folks, there was no end to the bigotry among so many Native Americans then.  Some of the tribes tried to fight the white people, while others cut peaceful deals that let them keep certain amounts of their former land.  But our intolerant native ancestors again wielded their closed-mindedness.  “Umm, guys, these white people have proved they can’t be trusted,” they said.  “They’ve taken over everything we’ve let them touch. We’re being driven off our land, dying from their diseases, being out-bred, out-gunned; we’re going extinct!  Don’t cut deals with these white people…blah blah blah…” 

     Guess who had to come to the rescue again?  Yep, the more level-headed and sensitive Indians.  Us liberal and worldly natives said, “You damn conservatives are just trying to cause trouble.  ImageYou’re fear-mongers who can’t tolerate people with differences living next to you (even if that “next” is the next step towards the Pacific Ocean).  These Caucasians aren’t that bad once you get to know them and do every single thing they say.  And if there is any reason they dislike us, it’s because of the bigotry you already had against them.  You should be ashamed!”

     Well, 20, 50, 150 years, 80,000 miles of train tracks, thousands of sprawling cities, and millions of dead and displaced Native Americans later, you’d think the more conservative among us would have gotten the hint: not being multicultural only incites those who just want to live peacefully and have their little slice of the pie (in the bakery that is theirs…that's in the country that is theirs…that's on the continent that’s theirs).

     But unfortunately ignorance is self-generating, everlasting, and now has spewed forth from the mouth of the Britain’s Prime Minister, David Cameron. 

     If only we Native Americans had been even more tolerant, more multicultural, allowing even more Europeans to flood the continent faster, the animosity which led to our demise would never have emerged.  And millions of dead American Indians would agree with me, too, as well as the seven or so alive today.  Ahh, tisk, tisk! 

     So take our tragic story as a lesson, Mr. Cameron, and never forget it: Multiculturalism works.  Just ask any Indian, granted you can find one.



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