The alleged “brutal and sustained” sexual assault of CBS reporter Lara Logan by a rampaging group of Egyptian protesters has horrified the U.S. and Western world. As president of one of this nation’s oldest and leading feminist organizations, I must remind people how much we deplore any aggression that impedes upon a woman’s safety and dignity.
Now, with that being stated, I must humbly ask, seriously: why the heck are Muslim men just so darn cute when they sexually assault people? Is it just me? C'mon, is it me..? I don't think so. In fact, it’s a reaction many contemporary feminists seem to have. I mean, those men in that photo of Ms. Logan just before the gang assault began look like a hoot! They’re adorable! Awww, the little mischievous cuties!!
Don’t get me wrong, the continual degrading and sometimes violent treatment of women around the world must stop, and the respect our gender still lacks must be recognized immediately (unless you are brown and of an ancient, noble religion, like Islam).
Maybe it’s me, but when Middle-Eastern Muslim men go a hootin’-and-a-hollerin’ and deny a woman’s right to drive, or sometimes work, or sometimes go to school, date whom she wants, wear what she wants, marry whom she wants, leave the house alone, or deny sexual advancements of a man, up to and including rape, and then punish her for having been raped through an honor killing, I gotta’ tell ya’, there’s just something so cute about it. It’s just…just…just so quaint, homey, like American pie, turkey on Thanksgiving, or hotdogs on the 4th of July. Oh, I tell ya’, that gang sex attack on CBS’s Lara Logan must have been like something out of a Middle-Eastern Norman Rockwell painting.
But why do I and so many top feminists have this reaction? Why do we find it absolutely deplorable to have a double entendre whispered to us by a male co-worker in downtown Manhattan, but the rape and beating of not just an American reporter, but of thousands of women all over the Middle East is…well, you know, like, whatever…? Who…? Raped...stoned to death…beaten…? Where…? Islam...sharia law…? Who’s Shaira..? Huh..?
Personally, I don’t know why American feminists routinely react this way, but I gotta’ tell ya’, America, there’s just something about seeing a Muslim man all enraged (and/or simultaneously erect) that simply makes me blush. And hearing about this near-death sex assault on Lara Logan by all these peace-loving male demonstrators in Cairo just makes me all a flutter —aquiver; atwitter with nervous angst, like when that neighbor you have a crush on accidently catches a peak of you naked through the curtains you forgot to close.
I can just see their little brown faces now: all scrunched up with excitement, all sweaty, spitting chunks of pita bread everywhere as they scream and claw, tear and carry out what has become evident to so many feminists as just some casual ethno-religious excuse to go about sexually assaulting women…or small boys, even. Not saying that religion or ethnicity gives one the “right” to rape and oppress women, but, ya’ know, it’s…they’re Muslims…it’s over “there,” it’s their culture… it’s…whatever…(just don’t ask me on a date while we’re at work, damn it!)…
They’re just so cute, so small, hairy, loud, devout, dark and mysterious; so effective at blending the words “ancient” and “primitive” with their exotic looks and rich history that we in the West just are genetically incapable of understanding… Awww, they’re like little feral puppies you wanna adopt from the pound and train to make love and obey you. Oh, can you hear my heart pounding, America? I know I can! Can you hear it, Lara Logan, or are you still in the hospital?
President, National Organization for Women (NOW)