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“Accusing Me of Being a Terrorist Makes Me Want to Explode!”

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    Yes, I know Congressman Peter Kings’s “Muslim Hearings” have been over for a while, but that does not mean the hearings’ sharp sting of intolerance isn’t.  Weeks later, it still stings.

    It is a sad commentary on the state of America, when Congress holds actual hearings on the notion that some people of a particular religion in this country can be raised in it and want to harm it (as if that’s even possible).

     I am just a devout Muslim from Queens, New York, currently living somewhere around the East

Coast/Mid-West area, and want to protect my religion in this country.  So you all better stop accusing me of being a terrorist, or else… These strikes now on Libya, and the wars prior, and these hearings recently –it’s enough to make humble people like me lose their minds and do Allah-knows what.

     Seriously, inferring that I’m some sort of jihadist really makes me angry, makes me want to blow my top –makes me want to explode!  Accusing anyone who doesn’t fit in to your stereotypical W.A.S.P. culture of being a terrorist is the surefire way to create them.  You Americans are determined to create your own demons, aren’t you? alt

     Well, I’m no demon.  I’m just a devout Wahhabi Muslim of Saudi descent who just happened to spend a few of his college years unaccounted for somewhere between Damascus and Calcutta, and who only surfs the internet at various, indiscriminate public libraries, yet all of a sudden I seem to be an enemy in my own country.  Disgraceful!  

     Seriously, you’d think there had been some sort of attack on American soil by Muslims or something by how we’re being stereotyped.  Not only that, but you’d think there have been multiple attacks on the U.S. routinely throughout the last 20 years or so. So enough with the stereotyping!  This anti-Islamic fervor has to stop before honest, decent folks like me get so offended and frustrated that we’ll make you all regret calling us terrorists in a uniquely spectacular, memorable, CNN-able manner. 

     Sincerely, I’m a hard-working, exceedingly private guy.  I keep to myself and keep myself quiet, real quiet.  But you accuse me of being a terrorist at your peril, America.  I’m not the type to take such insulting mischaracterizations lying down. 

     So Congressman King, you can take your goat and pony show on Capitol Hill and your fear mongering and shove it.  You’re stirring the hornets’ nest, a nest of little bearded, hairy brown hornets, and we can get very upset when stereotyped.  American Muslims will defend our impeccable, unscathed reputations in the fiercest, most memorable ways possible.  So don’t make us too angry!  Keep your paranoia to yourself, America, or face the consequences.

     We are taught to grace our enemies with at least one warning.  So, Peter King and the rest of podunk, stump-jumpin’ America, you can consider this your first and final warning.  Enough with the stereotyping and fear mongering…or else.

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