by Denise Half-Black-Half-White-Non-Biased-Female
Wednesday, August 17, 2011,
(WASHINGTON) — Following what could arguably be the worst week of his presidency, Barack Obama’s job approval rating dipped below 40 percent for the first time, according to the latest Gallup tracking numbers Tuesday. However, the same poll also found a silver lining in Obama’s ratings, citing that the President is still receiving extraordinarily high approval numbers from his closest constituents: his children.
The results found that at least two out of every two children of Obama found the President’s performance in office acceptable, if not “totally awesome,” leaving them in the minority of current public opinion. The President’s approval rating among his spawn remains in the upper 90-percentile; virtually unchanged since he took office in January 2009. And sources close to the Obamas report similar findings.
“Everyone thinks you’re an asshole, dad. But we love you,” reassured 13-year-old Sasha Obama to her dad last Saturday, according to an anonymous White House source.
“The President is undoubtedly warmed to the core by the approval numbers of his offspring,” said White House Press Secretary Jay Carney during Monday’s press briefing. “It’s good to know you’re appreciated out there by someone –anyone. …It’s always nice to know your children don’t think you’re an asshole, too.”
Obama is currently on a “rural bus/listening/whatever” tour of the Midwest, trying to regain popularity after a week that saw the first U.S. credit downgrade in history, followed inevitably by the worst Wall Street slump in years, the worst loss of U.S. military personnel in Afghanistan to date, and a federal court ruling much of his healthcare reforms unconstitutional. Needless to say, Gallup’s findings from Malia and 10-year-old Sasha Obama are a much needed boost for the tottering Commander-In-Chief.
Emboldened by Gallup’s results of all those he has sired, Obama confidently spoke to a crowd of 30 outside Davenport, Iowa, Tuesday. “There’s a lot of frustration out there right now, I know. A lot of that frustration can be misplaced, misdirected,” said the President. “A lot of anger can be misdirected at me. But if our troubles were really my fault, then even my kids would be holding it against me, and they still don’t think I’m an asshole. And if they don’t think I’m an asshole, you shouldn’t either.”