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Prosecutors: George Zimmerman to Face Trial Following Decapitation, Disembowelment

by Michael Madshack, DP Assistant Editor,

Thursday, April 12th, 2012,

(JACKSONVILLE, FL) —Florida state prosecutors announced Thursday that on top of charging George Zimmerman for the shooting of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, the state plans on taking him to trial, but only after his prolonged disembowelment, castration and thorough decapitation.

   Florida prosecutor Angela Corey confirmed Thursday morning what many had long suspected and what the entire nation was seething to hear.  

   “After weeks of review, weighing of evidence, interviewing witnesses, the state of Florida has decided to charge George Michael Zimmerman with second-degree murder in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin,” declared Corey during a press conference in Jacksonville.  “Finally (Zimmerman) will face justice, but only after he is tied up, castrated, dragged by his entrails through the streets of Sanford, beaten by angry mobs, set on fire, and beheaded with a dull spoon.  Then Mr. Zimmerman will be taken to court.”

   Jumping in front of any potential rumors their planned tactics may be excessive, prosecutor Corey said her office had originally pressured the state to cover George Zimmerman’s naked body in honey and nail him to a fire ant hill instead of dousing his body with gasoline and setting it ablaze (all before putting Zimmerman on trial of course).   Corey added that her office is “going by established procedure” in dealing with Zimmerman pre-trial, and is in no way bowing to public opinion or outcry.

   “Some may say our ‘pre-trial’ prepping of Mr. Zimmerman goes too far,” continued Corey, flanked by members of her legal team, “but grant you, being burned alive and beheaded is not as painful as the ‘anthill’ option.   Burning and decapitation are much more humane. …We’re not zealots here.”

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   Corey’s assurance that Zimmerman will experience hours, if not days, of unimaginable torture and death before being put on trial for Martin’s killing released some of the brewing tension in the Florida town of Sanford, where Martin was shot on February 26.   Florence Knight of the Orlando chapter of the NAACP said Wednesday she was pleased with the state’s pre-trial plans for Zimmerman, but still feared the 28-year-old “white Hispanic” would escape the justice he deserves in court.   Said Mrs. Knight, 63, to Duh Progressive Thursday, “All of this castration, decapitation and disembowelment talk is fine, it’s what (Zimmerman) deserves. But I’m still not convinced he’ll get a fair trial.”  

   Trayvon Martin’s family said Wednesday they wish to see no further bloodshed as a result of their son’s slaying or Zimmerman’s arrest, and asked people remain calm and peaceful as the tragic case proceeds through court.

     Unlike the Martins’ subdued response, Rev. Al Sharpton stood before reporters in Sanford Thursday to protest the “grotesque attitude of leniency” towards Zimmerman by Florida prosecutors.  

    “This man murders a child in cold blood and all they wanna do is pull off his limbs like fly wings, set him on fire and make him watch as they extract his intestines with a meat hook –and all before (Zimmerman) even steps into a courtroom..!  What is this, Sunday school?!” said Al Sharpton before a small army of news crews Thursday.   Commenting on the Martin case after TV cameras were turned off, Sharpton declared, “_________________. ___________ ____ __ _, _______ _ _______________ ______.”


People, Media Divided On Exactly How to Castrate, Kill Zimmerman Before Trial

   “I can see setting him on fire, and the limb-removal bit.  But setting Zimmerman on top of an anthill covered in honey…? Would that be done before they burn him alive?” asked retired school teacher Marianne Brittington.   In Sanford’s quaint coffee shops and restaurants, patrons like Marianne been discussing the developments in the Martin case since Wednesday and the state’s gruesome pre-court torture and death schemes for Zimmerman. 

   “Because in my experience ants don’t touch burnt flesh,” Brittington continued. “We had a cookout once and a charred burger fell on the grass –not one ant would come near it.  So I suggest they do the anthill thing before setting him on fire.”  

   Desires of the public notwithstanding, longtime legal analysts say no matter what the state does with Zimmerman, ultimate justice for the Martin slaying cannot commence at least before the ripping off of his testicles, which prosecutors said they plan on throwing into Sanford’s Hidden Lake as a snack for a young four-foot alligator locals have affectionately named “Hungry Harry.” 

    Somewhat anomalous among the advocates for more gruesome forms of mindboggling torture are figures like ABC legal analyst Dan Abrams.   Abrams called for cooler heads to prevail Thursday on ABC radio, suggesting the litany of hellish torments Florida plans to unleash on Zimmerman before his trial are “obscene, barbaric and unnecessary.”

   “There is no good reason Zimmerman’s testicles need to be fed to ‘Hungry Harry’ or any other reptile,” Abrams said.  “What’s the point of hauling a man before a court of law if he’s not going to have a head, arms, legs, skin, eyeballs, testicles, bowels, toenails, nostril hairs or eyebrows?  It will just be a disgusting, smoldering hunk of nondescript flesh in the defendant’s seat!  It’d be like putting a piece of my girlfriend’s cooking on trial. ...Oh shit, I shouldn’t have said that.”

   Added Abrams, “The public’s bloodlust for Zimmerman has reached a point where having a fair trial is impossible!   That’s why I say we just lower him feet-first into a wood chipper and be done with it –there, true justice, once and for all.”    


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