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Feds Increase Size Restrictions for Illegal Alien Catch-and-Release Program




by Juliana Lopez, Token Latina Reporter

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011,

(WASHINGTON) Human rights groups are hailing a decision by the Obama administration over the weekend to increase the size limits on the federal government’s unofficial “catch and release” policy regarding illegal aliens. Beginning next year, all undocumented immigrants caught by the federal government measuring six feet (72 inches) or less will be released back into the wild, according to Homeland Security and U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service officials.

Up until now, illegal immigrants measuring 5-foot-2 (62 inches) or below were automatically released back into their natural habitats by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and Fish and Wildlife personnel. However Saturday’s executive order extending the size requirements for an illegal alien to be detained and possibly deported (fat chance, even then) by the government places an estimated 98-percent of illegal immigrants out of range for deportation or indefinite detention.   The policy change has unsurprisingly fanned the flames among illegal immigration opponents and has critics charging the White House with election season posturing.

“This is outrageous!” said Harold Montgomery, president of the anti-illegal immigrant group Help Save Virginia.   “No illegal immigrant below six feet has been reported in this country for years.   They’re more rare than sightings of the (expletive) Chupacabra! They don’t exist. And if they do, they're legal, have PhDs and treat my kids when they’re sick.  This is blatant race-based pandering by the Obama administration.”

Although pro-illegal proponents have not been left without cause for offense, as the executive order grandfathers out the size restrictions of illegals caught and/or hired by private citizens.   “Mr. Obama has done it again,” said the Huffington Post’s Arianna Huffington on NBC’s Meet The Press over the weekend, “he’s managed to anger both the left and right; immigration groups don’t want to see the 11 or 12 illegals who are over six feet tall deported, and conservatives hate further restrictions on what size illegal aliens they can catch and pay under the table as day laborers.”

Added Huffington, “Politically, this has been a clever decision by (Obama), but it harms the open borders cause in the long run, as well as many Republican small business owners who decry illegal immigration while turning a blind eye to that Juan or Maria or Muhammad they employ.”

Huffington’s point is hardly lost among business owners like Dwayne Ebbitt, owner of Ebbitt Roofing & Paint, Inc., in Fairfax, Virginia.   The 49-year-old roofer said Monday that he just caught his best illegal immigrant yet, and was not about to release him back into the wild without a fight.

 “It took me all day to catch Jose!  Had my line cast out all day with a good lure made from roofing and weekend siding work,” said Ebbitt to Duh Progressive Monday. “Then around noon I got a bite in the parking lot of our local Home Depot…took me the rest of the day to reel the little bastard into my van.   When I finally got him in and he stopped flopping around and yelling in Spanish, he agreed to do some odd jobs for me. …Now the feds say I gotta let ‘em back ‘cause he’s only 5’4’’?  Bullshit!  I caught Jose fair-n-square! He’s mine!  He’s a keeper and I ain’t throwin’ ‘em back!”

Ebbitt failed to mention that the government’s new size restrictions do not take effect until January of 2012, a date most United States Border Patrol agents say they are not looking forward to. “We catch these illegals every day –usually small, but sometimes big; they can be skinny or weighed-down with a lot of drugs,” said agent Gus Estevez of the U.S. Border Patrol outside Douglas, Arizona.   Estevez said that the administration’s new size requirements for detainment and deportation will only add frustration to what border security officers already deal with: catching illegally crossing immigrants only to have them released back into the wild.  

“We catch ‘em, then are told to release them, then re-catch them already,” said Estevez from his patrol vehicle Monday.   “The best thing I feel like I accomplish at this job is losing weight —33 pounds so far. You get into shape trying to catch these guys… And no, we’ve seen only three six-foot illegals in our time here.   So what are they trying to prove?”

Re-election politicking is the only thing the Obama administration is trying to prove, according to columnist and Fox News contributor Mary Katherine Ham Tuesday.   With the 10-inch size extension for catch-and-release of illegal immigrants, incarceration of illegals is estimated to drop a jaw-dropping 55% beginning next year. Such a massive tweak of federal size limits cannot be explained by anything other than political pandering, namely to the Hispanic vote, according to Ham on Washington’s WMAL morning show Tuesday.  

“My dad just caught a five-foot-nine Guatemalan the other day,” said Ham on WMAL’s Morning Majority show. “And he would have kept him, too, if he hadn’t already had a cooler full of illegals. But that’s the point: he threw him back by choice, not because of some shady order by Obama.  But are Hispanic voters going to thank my dad next November?  No way —they’ll be thanking Obama.  I've never seen a more transparent attempt at pandering for a particular minority's vote in my life.”

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